Marc, Novembro 4, 2008

The elections will soon be finished at last and it looks like things are going to begin getting back to normal around here. As usual I made the mistake of working on a secular holiday (election day may as well be one) and have thus far made next to nothing in the way of cash. I did have one young and attractive man in the afternoon but beyond him there was nothing. I figure that everyone must be staying at home with their eyes glued to the prediction results. On the personal I try to avoid watching the predictions because in the end they are nothing more than predictions and, accurate though these predictions may be, choosing to avoid the anxious stew of emotions that those predictions produce in me is the superior decision. Of course not having much significant business means that I am spending most of the afternoon on the internet.

Eva5924: mmm free cobbler
DLoveless: mmmmmm
Eva5924: I love voting incentives
Eva5924: are you registered?
DLoveless: registered for?
DLoveless: voting?
Eva5924: yesh
DLoveless: yes. already voted by mail awhile ago.
Eva5924: I only ask because you are so frequently nomadic.
DLoveless: is it bad that when you said 'are you registered' my mind immediately went to wedding registrations?
Eva5924: weird?
Eva5924: very weird
DLoveless: theme. of. the. month
Eva5924: really?
DLoveless: yeah. one dancer friend is getting married, another is renewing vows with 'the big wedding they always wanted' and so now all the women in my local life are, of course, talking about weddings and crap like that.
Eva5924: oh
Eva5924: I am not getting married and I don't know anyone that is married
DLoveless: excellent
DLoveless: then i am not alone

Eva is, of course, one of my dearest friends in the whole wide world and I can always count on her for a good conversation. I can also always count on her for a swift kick to the face but that is neither here nor there. Eva and I have known each other for almost ten whole years and in consequence she knows everything that there is to know concerning my life. She also knows all about the profession and she has never once judged me in a negative light because of it. In fact she seems to find it all more than a little bit fascinating. The amusing part of it all is that I find her professional life just as fascinating, being more than a little bit intrigued by the world of art galleries and loose collared dealerings. In any case she is the person with whom I most often speak when there is not much happening and I have too much time to kill, and I am fortunate to have a friend a like her in my life, and the wedding phenomenon really has been a little obnoxious.

It has not been obnoxious in a terrible way or anything like that. It just reminds me that I am single and will most likely be single for at least a few more years, and hearing my friends go on about how fantastic their relationships are going makes it that much more disheartening. This is all the fault of my rules, of course, so I have no person to blame other than myself when the the old fist muscle that I call my heart starts to clench and ache. But it would be nice to have some sort of romantic someone in my life, someone who does not care about the source of my income and is mature enough to handle the feelings it might cause without blaming those feelings on me. There is someone like that out in Baltimore but I am not confident that it would work out in the end. That does not stop me from missing Jonah though and although we have not been speaking all that much during the last few weeks he has still come across my mind at least once or twice each afternoon or evening. I think that maybe I will give him a phone call and see how has been doing, and this time I might even remember to not suck him into a conversation about whoring.