Kurko, Avgusto 31, 2008

By the time the sun had risen my hangover was all but gone, as was the hangover belonging to the handsome grey-eyed man beside me. We smiled to one another as we both awoke at about the same time and then had some of the best morning sex I can recall in recent time. His hands were strong and, by the time my body was shaking and writhing with enjoyment, he had used those hands to pin me to the very edge of the bed. I could have fallen at any moment and although falling off the bed is not the most dangerous thing in the world it still made the sex that much more enjoyable. Of course I had to put my own prowess on display and, not long after Jonah commented on how difficult women find him in bed, my own clever hands had sent him into a muscular fit of shaking and writhing all his own. Took me no less than a minute or two and had he not been so out of breath from dancing for my hands the first time I could have requested a repeat performance several times over.

Let it not be said that multiple orgasms are beyond men.

Afterward he and I took a long shower that would have been just great had I not managed to get soap in my eye while trying to fidget with the ever changing water temperature. But it was still nice all the same and at some point Jonah asked if this was something I enjoyed often, bathing with men. I told him that it was something I participated in often and that enjoying it was not something I was often able to do. It was an innocent question, as innocent as any of the questions he has been asking me about my career, but answering them does make me feel a little bit of guilt. I am worried that talking about what I do is somehow hurting his feelings, despite his protestations otherwise. His feelings aside, it is obvious to me that he does not yet understand that professional activities and recreational activities different. I hope that he gets it soon.

The rest of the day was spent shopping for little knick-knacks he could bring back as gifts for his friends, stuffing ourselves with good food, and clinging naked to one another as though one would not see the other for a very long time. This was because later that day I was supposed to drive him to the bus station where we were going to say goodbye and he was going to return home. I did this as planned and was an absolute mess the entire way there. Jonah tried to cheer me up a few times but it was no good, all I could do was mope and sigh and fight back the occasional ears. It was even worse when his bus began accepting its passengers and at one point I needed to touch him so much that I reached past another passenger who had been standing in line, nearly knocking the poor man over with my arm. "It can be hard to say goodbye" was what I heard then, spoken from a large and loud and somewhat frightening woman. "It is..." is the only response I could muster before she asked me when he and I would see each other again. I told her that he was returning to Baltimore to finish up his schooling and that I was planning on visiting him just before his semester ended. The frightening woman nodded her head and told me that it did not sound like very long at all. I watched through the window as Jonah boarded his bus and hoped that she was right, that the time between visits would pass with ease.

Once the handsome Jonah was on the bus I left the station and stepped out, as though the sadness of parting ways was not perfect enough, into the pouring rain. I drove home through the wetness and crawled into bed where I have managed to be miserable ever since, emerging only once to reheat and eat some of the little pirogis that Jonah had made from pure scratch. The flavors of his cooking reminded me of him enough to make the rest of the day easy enough, but what I found myself missing most of all was his smell. It was a strong and characteristic scent, and it reminded me of onions and garlic and earth. The next time I see him I am burying my nose in his armpit, even if it does make him feel weird.