Luja, Avgusto 18, 2008 - Letters

An email sent to my agent:

i am feeling a little bit frustrated concerning the professional and financial situation at the moment. i understand that the market here in denver is over-saturated with providers advertising on the free listing sites such as craigslist and all of that and that this makes it difficult to snatch up clientelle. but at the moment it looks as though i am breaking even and not much else. both today and saturday had me seeing just one client and making just enough money after the fifty percent split to secure a hotel room for the day afterward. this might be normal and i may just not be accustomed to the business of incalls yet, but it is frustrating to feel as though i am the only one not getting anything out of the arrangement.

the agency makes money. the client gets his kicks. but all i do is spend money on hotel rooms and end the day with nothing, maybe enough to buy myself one drink. and those hotel rooms have rates which will only be rising higher as the denver national convention approaches. my one client from today actually suggested that i leave town before the convention arrives in order to avoid the huge mess that it will be bringing with it. i kind of wish i could afford to do just that.

i would like to know if there is anything that the agency could do to help improve the situation or - if there is not - if you have any suggestions as to how i could improve it myself. perhaps there are some hustling recommendations which someone could pass along to me in order to help me improve the money that i pull in from those clients who do manage to show up as planned. i appreciate and like the agency and have enjoyed the few times i have spoken with either you or erica. i would like to stick with it "indefinitely" as you said the other night, but i also need to making money and right now the incall market is not being all that kind to me. i am hoping you have some thoughts on how to improve things.

much appreciated,
DL

An email sent to Jonah:

you wanted to know a bit about the culture in which i was raised, as far as art and things are concerned. well i grew up immersed in theater and film for the most part. my grandmother was the manager and agent for a very popular hollywood actor who remains very popular even now, something of a classic action star in lots of ways. and i was involved in theater and all of that for years and years, mostly shakespeare but other classical theater forms and writers came into my life as well. the italian commedia del'arte for one, along with stanislavsky and moliere. theater and live entertainment in general remain so important to me.

i really love the stuff, and i am none too bad at it either.

in any case i wanted to let you know more about the stuff we discussed the other night, the escort business and all of that. you will probably not like this all that much and after you read this email i understand if your opinion of me changes for the worse. the fact of the matter is that i never stopped working as a full service escort and that escorting remains my main source of income. i work out of hotels five days a week and i do so for clientelle with cash to burn, and always under the safest of conditions. i am tested often and very clean about everything that i do, in fact i was tested just before camp and came back with a straight negative record, so you do not need to be concerned there. and for the most part i am appreciated and proud of what i do, because i do it well and it is one of those few things in life that leaves me feeling good about myself.

many people may think that twisted, but they hardly know what it is like to be me.

i am not sure if you have questions about this, and i am not sure if you ever want to speak to me again. i am sure that you have opinions just like I have opinions. so before anything else is said I would like to say that i find no conflict between what I do for a living and the education which i am pursuing. my career as an escort will end someday and that will almost certainly be when my education is concluded, but even then i find that there is no conflict between what i do and what i believe. even the man from nazareth himself spent a significant time with women like me and they made up a significant portion of his following. so there is that.

i hope that you are still interested in knowing me, and i very much hope that you are still interested in visiting me. but i understand if neither can be the case now that you know what you know about me. though if they are then i would still love to have you visit, though i suppose i should not hold my breath on that one. i would have told you sooner but, in spite of my best interest and my better self, for one reason or another i care about what you think of me. i hope to hear back from you soon.

no hard feelings,
me

The agent already called me on the phone. Things are happening and apparently I was not the only one to complain about the local business. In fact they may be moving me to a location which I have been wanting to work in for awhile now and that could make things much better for me and my financial situation. So it looks as though I like her again. I am so goddamned easy sometimes. Beyond that when I was writing the email to Jonah through the social networking site we are both on there was a picture of him staring back at me the entire time. It was a picture of him with that charming smile and those beautiful sparkling eyes of his, with his very adorable dog laying across him on the couch. You know, while it may be true that I am not ashamed of what I do for a living I do sometimes wonder if I should be.